What a $100k salary affords in this economy
Plus: Wedding sprawl is taking a toll on our bank accounts
Hi everyone,
It’s spring in New York and I couldn’t be happier about that. Despite crazy seasonal allergies, it’s been perfect in the city the past few days. I’m enjoying walks in the sunshine before it gets too hot.
In this week’s issue:
1. What a 6-figure salary affords in this economy
2. Wedding sprawl
3. Links
What a 6-figure salary affords in this economy
Speaking of the cost-of-living crisis…I’ve become fascinated by a conversation I’ve seen across TikTok/Reddit/I’m sure other social platforms about how earning six figures (at least, relatively low six figures, we’ll say under $200k) isn’t really affording people the life they thought it would. After taxes/rent/bills/401(k) contributions/etc., there isn’t a ton left over.
To be clear: Hitting six figures can be life changing, and it’s a lot more than the median income in the U.S. (both individual and household). But the sentiment I see being expressed over and over is that with the cost-of-living (particularly in places likely to provide six-figure salaries) being what it is, it’s not a “dream” salary anymore. “I thought there’d be a huge pile of money in my checking account,” one person told me. But that hasn’t happened.
The big difference between a lower salary and hitting six figures I’ve noticed is that people are saving a little bit more—particularly for retirement. And that is a big deal! But they’re certainly not maxing out their accounts, and there isn’t always enough to put any/a substantial amount into their emergency funds, too.
I wrote about these feelings here, and I feel like this quote sums it up pretty well, from a 34-year-old earning over $150,000 per year:
“Doing something like fixing up your home or renovating your kitchen is seen as some huge, decadent thing, when in reality, it shouldn’t be that crazy to want to update something that’s 50 years. Now, anything beyond just getting by or enjoying subtle luxuries is thought of as a bigger achievement than it really should be.
“The standard has shifted. Should I feel grateful that I can actually save? That should be a given. We should all make enough to live a comfortable life. That shouldn’t be as privileged as it is now.”
Something is very wrong when people earning more than double the median income cannot afford to do fairly basic things. Depending on where you live, it’s not even enough to buy a house for many, many years.
As one financial planner told me, millennials and, soon, Gen Z just have so many more expenses than their parents. Housing is astronomically more expensive, and then there’s student loan debt and the entirety of their retirement fund.
On the less serious side, I thought this example from a woman I interviewed was a good representation of the issue. Miriam, a 30-year-old earning $105,000, told me she can pay her bills and save for retirement, but she can’t afford a comfortable seat on an airplane. Your necessities are covered, but don’t ask for more than that.
That’s obviously not much of a complaint when so many people can barely cover their bills. But it’s significant in that it showcases just how expensive it is to live in this country. Everything feels like a luxury here, and it often seems like you don’t have a right to complain or wish things were different if you are getting by.
Wedding sprawl
Annie Midori Atherton writes in The Atlantic:
Forget the “Big Day”; many modern weddings are more like a “Big Year.” First there’s the proposal, sometimes accompanied by a “proposal party.” Next comes the engagement bash, the bridal shower, and the bachelor or bachelorette weekend—the latter of which is getting longer. Then it’s time for the ceremony and the reception, which may be bookended by extra events such as welcome drinks, a rehearsal dinner, and a morning-after brunch. Finally, the newlyweds make plans for their honeymoon—or, for many U.S. couples, their honeymoons, plural. Rather than going on just one big trip, lots of people are also taking either a short mini-moon right after the festivities end or an early-moon before they begin. All of this means more dates saved, more friends involved, more vendors tapped, and more money exuberantly (or reluctantly) spent. The celebrations can feel endless. Welcome to wedding sprawl.
Someone had to say it: Weddings are out of control. Yes, I want to celebrate your love and the start of a new chapter of your life. But no, your wedding is, interestingly enough, not the only thing I have going on for the next year. Dedicating multiple days/trips/gifts to it gets to be…a lot.
The money angle is, of course, that all of these are events are really, really expensive. Particularly if you’re asked to stand up in someone’s wedding, and attend all of the constellation events orbiting the Big Day. I’ve been “lucky” so far, but I’ve still had to use six of 10 vacation days at one job for wedding-related shenanigans in the same year.
But it’s not just weddings. Increasingly, at least in certain circles, every milestone is now An Event. There’s the 30th birthday trips, gender reveal parties, new job celebrations, and on and on. All worthy of celebration. But when everything is An Event, it takes a toll on the ol’ bank account—particularly when everything (travel, nice gifts, new clothes, Airbnb fees) costs so much.
Look, I love a party! I love celebrating the important people in my life! As The Atlantic article notes, “people getting married for the first time are typically about seven years older [today] than newlyweds were 50 years ago. That’s nearly a decade more for anticipation to build…Yet, for a lot of people, weddings remain the primary opportunity in adult life to have a big blowout.” I love tradition and ritual and watching people I love vow to love each other forever.
But it does get hard when you’re expected to jet off for a birthday party one week and spend $1,000 on a bachelorette the next.
Links
The last story in my ambition series: Americans are in the era of quiet ambition: No longer ‘chasing achievement for achievements’ sake’
I’ve long been a fan of Stefanie O'Connell Rodriguez’s writing (I interviewed her for my story on turning 30!), but I’ve been loving her foray into TikTok, making academic journal-speak about really important topics easy to understand.
A thoughtful response to how to talk with your partner about money—particularly if you have different vibes/goals. This reminded me of when I hosted a Money Salon with a few close friends, and talking about money and debt and goals really for the first time in-depth made me feel so much closer to them. I believe you really can’t know someone if you don’t know how they approach money and why—asking a few questions, sensitively, will tell you so much.
An oldie, but I really appreciated some of the career advice in here.
Love this look at SoFi, the company suing to end the federal student loan payment pause. Really, I wonder what will happen when payments resume—people are already so strapped.
That’s it for now. Have a great week,
A
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P.S.S. Thanks Christopher Skinner for the illustrations!